Men Drift from God: The Slow Creep That Pulls Men Away

Men drift from God more often than most of us realize. If there’s one thing I’ve learned after years of walking alongside men, it’s this: nobody drifts from God overnight. I’ve never had a man call me and say, “TJ, I decided this morning I was done with my faith.” It doesn’t happen that way.

Instead, it starts with little compromises. We get busy, skip men’s group because work ran late, miss church because we’re tired, and let our Bible stay closed for a few days that slowly become a few weeks. All the while, we tell ourselves we’ll get back into the routine tomorrow. Before we know it, we’ve drifted farther than we ever intended.

I call it the slow creep.

Recently, while I was driving into town for men’s group, I found myself thinking about how often I’ve seen this happen. Earlier that day, a man had texted me saying he was having a hard time. When I asked him what had been going on in his life, the answer was the same one I’ve heard countless times over the years. “I got busy.” That’s usually where the drift begins.

Why Men Drift from God So Slowly

The enemy rarely comes after us with one big attack. More often, he works through small compromises that don’t seem like a big deal in the moment.

“Skip men’s group this week.”

“You can catch church online.”

“You’ve had a long day. Read your Bible tomorrow.”

One decision doesn’t seem to matter much. Then another follows. Before long, we’ve walked away from the very things that were making us stronger. Satan has been using that strategy since the Garden of Eden. He convinced Adam to stand by passively instead of leading and he still loves to make men passive today. We become passive with our walk with the Lord, passive with our marriages, passive with our kids, and passive with the ministry God has called us to.

Then one day we hit a wall and wonder how we got there. The truth is, we didn’t get there overnight. We got there one small compromise at a time. This is exactly how men drift from God. It isn’t usually rebellion. It’s neglect that slowly becomes a habit.

I’ve Been There Too

One thing I’ll never do is preach about something I haven’t wrestled with myself. When I recorded this KOZ Raw, I was on my way to men’s group after missing a couple of weeks. I had legitimate reasons for being gone. Life had been busy, but I also knew I could come up with another perfectly legitimate reason not to go that night.

Instead, I went. Not because someone expected me to, but because I needed it. I need men in my life who challenge me, encourage me, and remind me who I am in Christ. I need God’s Word. I need the accountability that comes from walking alongside other men who are pursuing the same thing. None of us ever outgrow that need.

Our Boys Need Consistency Too

As I was thinking about men drifting, I couldn’t help but think about our KOZ boys. Summer can be one of the hardest seasons for them. During the school year, there’s structure. They get up, go to school, see teachers, interact with coaches, and live within a routine that provides consistency. Then summer arrives.

Suddenly there are long days, less structure, and a lot more opportunities to get into trouble. More importantly, there are more opportunities for loneliness, discouragement, and questions about whether anyone really notices them. One thing we’ve learned at KOZ is that boys desperately need structure. They want someone to show them what’s right and what’s wrong. They need clear expectations, healthy boundaries, and men who consistently show up.

When those things disappear, boys often start looking somewhere else for direction. That’s why what you do matters so much.

A Simple Text Can Change a Boy’s Day

You don’t have to organize another big event this week. You don’t have to plan a campout or take a boy fishing. Sometimes the most important thing you can do is send a text. Call your boy. Ask him how he’s doing. Tell him you’ve been thinking about him. Invite him to grab a burger or stop by your house for a few minutes.

Those simple moments often become the moments boys remember for years. Never underestimate what a consistent man can mean in the life of a boy who simply needs to know someone cares.

Stay in the Fight

Life moves fast, work will always demand more and there will always be another project, another meeting, another reason to postpone the things that keep your heart healthy. Don’t let the slow creep steal what matters most.

Stay connected to God’s Word. Stay connected to your church. Stay connected to the men who sharpen you and hold you accountable. Then do the same for your KOZ boy.

One text message. One phone call. One Saturday together. One conversation around a campfire. Those small moments may not seem significant today, but over time they shape the kind of men our boys will become. The slow creep works one small decision at a time.

Thankfully, faithfulness does too. So, keep showing up for your family, your church, your KOZ boys, and for the man God is still shaping you to become.

Regulators, Mount Up!