It doesn’t matter whether a boy grows up in the city or the country, or halfway around the world. His circumstances may be different, but I’ve learned after years of working with boys that what every boy needs from a man is remarkably similar.
Boys want adventure and they want to belong. They want to know somebody that sees them and whom believes they matter. They need godly men willing to show up, who build a relationship with them, and point them toward Jesus.
I was thinking about that recently while sitting in a hunting stand at the KOZ Mobley Ranch. It was the first week of August in Texas, and I had been sitting there for about an hour waiting on some pigs to come into the feeder. It had to be over 100 degrees inside that stand and I was basically getting a free sauna treatment.
The pigs weren’t cooperating, so I had plenty of time to think, and for some reason, I started thinking about a boy named Roy.
Boys Don’t Start Out Seeing All Our Differences
When I was a kid, my next-door neighbor and best friend was a guy named Roy. One of the things I remember most about Roy is that he was the first person I’d ever met who was missing a finger. I don’t remember how he lost it, I just remember that Roy had nine fingers and he was my buddy.
I also remember when his parents got divorced. At that age, I didn’t really understand divorce. I didn’t understand that parents could split up and that your best friend might suddenly move away because of it.
But here’s what I don’t remember thinking about: whether Roy and I were different. He was just Roy.
That’s something I’ve carried with me as I’ve gotten older. The world can spend an awful lot of time telling us about the things that separate people. But when I’ve actually sat down with people, I haven’t seen those differences matter nearly as much as we’re sometimes told they should.
Put a bunch of boys together outside, give them something to do, and it doesn’t take long before they’re just boys.
What Every Boy Needs From a Man
I’ve worked with boys from all kinds of backgrounds over the years. I’ve seen boys from the city and boys from the country. I’ve spent time with boys from different parts of the United States, and now we’re watching KOZ reach boys in places like Mexico and Africa.
Their circumstances can be completely different, but their needs aren’t. What every boy needs from a man is someone willing to enter his world.
Boys respond to adventure, they respond to excitement and challenge, they want to learn how to do something they couldn’t do before and they want to know they’re part of something. They respond when a man looks them in the eye and lets them know, You matter. I’m glad you’re here.
That’s one of the reasons the outdoors works so well in ministry to boys. Give them a fishing pole, put a tool in their hands, take them hiking, teach them how to shoot a bow, build a fire, or cook something outside, and suddenly you’ve created an opportunity for a relationship.
The activity gets them there, but the relationship is where the real ministry begins.
A Boy Wants to Know He Belongs
One of our KOZ leaders in Africa regularly has around 22 boys show up and sometimes there are even more. These boys don’t have much. Some of them show up barefoot, but they show up smiling.
Why? Because there’s a man waiting for them who has invited them into an adventure.
That picture has stayed with me because it reminds me that you don’t need everything figured out to make an impact in the life of a boy. You don’t need the fanciest equipment, the biggest budget, or the perfect program. You need men who are willing to show up. You need a place where a boy knows he’s welcome. You need an opportunity to build trust, and then you need to use that relationship to point him toward Jesus.
Create a Place Where Every Boy Is Welcome
One of the things I love about KOZ is that it can become a safe place for any boy. When boys walk into a KOZ group, we don’t need to spend our time emphasizing what makes one boy different from another. We can focus on the things they have in common. They’re boys.
They want to move, they want to laugh, they want to get dirty, and they want to try something that feels a little dangerous while knowing there’s a man nearby keeping them safe. They want to accomplish something and hear somebody say, “Good job.”
They also carry things we may never see when they first arrive. Some are growing up without a father in the home, some are dealing with instability, some are lonely, some are angry, and some desperately need encouragement but would never know how to ask for it.
That’s why simply creating a place where a boy can belong is so powerful.
The Activity Is Never the Final Goal
We love the outdoors at Kids Outdoor Zone. We hunt, we fish, we shoot bows, we build things, we teach skills, we get dirty, but none of those things are the mission. The mission is the boy.
Adventure gives us an opportunity to get close enough to a boy to learn his story. Over time, he begins to trust us and that’s when we have the opportunity to talk about the things that really matter.
For me, it eventually comes down to something pretty simple: Do you know Jesus?
I want these boys to know Jesus. I want our leaders to know Jesus. I want the men serving beside us to know Jesus. Everything else gives us an opportunity to have that conversation.
You Don’t Have to Be His Dad to Make a Difference
There are millions of boys growing up without a father in their home, and the size of that problem can make it easy to wonder what one man can possibly do.
You can show up for one boy, you can remember his name, you can ask how he’s doing and actually listen to his answer. You can teach him something, you can challenge him when he needs challenging and encourage him when he needs encouragement. You can model what it looks like to be a godly man and you can keep showing up.
A boy may come from a completely different background than you. His family may look different from yours, he may have grown up in a place you’ve never experienced and faced things you know nothing about. Don’t let that stop you from entering his world.
Start with what you have in common. Invite him into an adventure, build the relationship, and point him toward Jesus.
Because wherever I’ve gone, I’ve found that what every boy needs from a man isn’t all that complicated. He needs a man who cares enough to show up.
Regulators, mount up.
—TJ Greaney
Founder, Kids Outdoor Zone
Ready to get started? Learn how to start a KOZ group at your church today. https://www.kidsoutdoorzone.com/groupstartdetails
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