Fathers and Sons: The Example Our Boys Need

When I think back on my childhood and my relationship with my dad, there are certain things I remember.

I remember him being present when I was little. I remember a couple of specific times when he stood up for me. Once, a baseball coach didn’t play me in a game, and my dad wasn’t too happy about it. Another time, I was accused of something at school that I insisted I didn’t do, and my dad believed me and stood up for me. Those memories have stuck with me.

But when I think about the things we did together, there’s something I don’t remember. I don’t remember us serving together. We didn’t go to a rescue mission, feed the hungry, collect things for families in need, or really do anything I would describe as ministry together.

That got me thinking about fathers and sons and the kind of legacy we have the opportunity to build together.

KOZ Is About Unfathered Boys, But It’s Also About Fathers and Sons

People sometimes think Kids Outdoor Zone is simply a ministry for fatherless boys. Reaching boys who don’t have an active father in their lives is absolutely at the heart of what we do, but KOZ is bigger than that.

I actually prefer the word unfathered because a boy can have a man living in his house and still not be actively fathered. Sometimes that man may not know how because nobody ever showed him. I understand that. A lot of us have had to learn along the way what it means to be the father God has called us to be. That’s one of the reasons I believe so strongly in fathers bringing their sons to KOZ.

A dad may initially bring his son because they both enjoy hunting, fishing, archery, camping, or being outdoors. There’s nothing wrong with that. Those are great things to do together, but there’s an opportunity for something much bigger to happen.

When a father and son come to KOZ together, they have the chance to serve together.

Maybe you help another boy sight in a gun. Maybe your son helps a younger boy learn to shoot a bow. Maybe the two of you help a boy make it up a difficult trail. Maybe you sit around a campfire and listen to a boy who needs someone to hear him. Your son may not even realize he’s doing ministry. But he is.

The Other Boys Are Watching

There’s another side of this that I don’t want us to miss.

Imagine an unfathered boy sitting in your KOZ circle. There’s a father and son sitting nearby, and that boy is paying attention to them more closely than we may realize. Maybe he hears the dad say, “Bobby, knock it off. Quit doing that.” Nothing unusual about that.

But 15 minutes later, that same boy sees the father sitting beside his son at the campfire with his arm around him. They’re talking, they’re laughing and maybe they’re talking about their Sit Spot, praying together, or just enjoying being together. That unfathered boy sees all of it.

He sees that a father can correct his son and still love him. He sees a dad who is present. He sees what it looks like when a father and son have a healthy relationship. For a boy who has been disappointed or hurt by his own father, that example can be incredibly important.

The word father may not mean something good to him. His experience may have taught him that fathers leave, disappoint, ignore, or hurt. Then he comes to KOZ and sees something different. He begins to realize that maybe not every dad is like the dad he has known, and that matters when we eventually begin talking to him about a Heavenly Father who loves him and will never leave him.

Some Boys Have a Dad and Still Feel Unseen

While I was thinking about all of this, I thought about David. When Samuel came to Jesse’s house looking for the son God had chosen to be king, Jesse brought his sons before him one after another. These were the sons who looked like they might fit the part, but none of them were the one God had chosen.

Finally, Samuel had to ask, essentially, “Is this everybody?” There was still David. He was out watching the sheep.

Think about that for a minute. David was in the family. He had a father, yet when it came time for Jesse to consider which of his sons might be the one God had chosen, David wasn’t even in the room. And yet David was the one.

There are boys like that all around us. They may have a dad at home, but they still feel overlooked. They may not feel seen or heard. There may be something inside that boy that nobody has taken the time to recognize yet. KOZ gives us an opportunity to see him.

Dads, Ask Your Sons Who Needs KOZ

This is one of the simplest things I want to challenge dads to do. Ask your son: “Who are your buddies that need to come to KOZ?”

Your son knows things you may not know. He knows which friend doesn’t have a dad around. He knows which boy is having a hard time at home. He knows the kid who would love to hunt, fish, shoot a bow, camp, or just spend a Saturday around a group of men.

And sometimes that boy may have a really good dad who simply isn’t an outdoorsman or isn’t physically able to do those things with him. That’s okay, too.

KOZ gives boys the opportunity to be around godly men with different experiences, skills, and stories. A father who encourages his son to learn from other good men isn’t giving up his place. He’s helping his son grow.

Build a Legacy Together

So dads, bring your sons to KOZ. Yes, have fun with them. Shoot together, fish together, hike together, laugh together, but don’t stop there.

Help your son notice the boy standing off by himself. Teach him to recognize when somebody needs help. Show him what compassion looks like. Let him see you serve and then give him opportunities to serve beside you.

Talk about those boys on the drive home. Pray for them together. Ask your son what he noticed and who he thinks might need some extra encouragement next month. Those are the kinds of things that build a legacy.

And while you’re building something with your own son, there may be another boy watching the two of you and discovering for the first time what a healthy relationship between a father and son can look like.

That’s one of the beautiful things about KOZ. We get to invest in unfathered boys while also strengthening fathers and sons. We get to help boys experience the outdoors, but more importantly, we get to point them toward godly manhood and ultimately toward Jesus.

So, bring your son, bring his buddies, look for the boys who may be unseen, and let’s keep showing up.

God bless you, Regulators. Mount up.

TJ Greaney
Founder, Kids Outdoor Zone

Ready to get started? Learn how to start a KOZ group at your church today. https://www.kidsoutdoorzone.com/groupstartdetails

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