Why Boys Are Drawn to Intentional Moments
Mentoring boys through intentional moments is often less about programs and more about presence.
I want to share something simple, but powerful, with you.
I’m TJ Greaney with KOZ, and in my office there’s a shelf behind me filled with jars of change, candy, snack bars, little games, and random odds and ends. At first glance, it may seem unimportant. In reality, it has a clear purpose.
It draws my grandkids in.
Every child who walks into my office expects something—gum, candy, a snack, or just a moment of connection. One of my granddaughters asks me every single time, “Do you have gum?” And because I know she’ll ask, I keep gum stocked all times. If I run out, I go buy more. That’s because consistency builds trust, and trust opens hearts.
That’s mentoring boys through intentional moments.
How Intentional Moments Shape Boys for Life
At my house, I have something called the Bray Bag. It’s a simple camo duffel bag tucked away in a closet. Anytime I see something “boyish” that makes me think of my grandson—binoculars, toy airplanes, pocket knives—I drop it in the bag.
When he comes over, he runs straight for it.
That bag isn’t about stuff. Instead, it creates anticipation and reminds him that someone was thinking about him.
In the same way, the principle applies to mentoring boys through intentional moments. When leaders are intentional, boys feel invited into something that belongs to them.
Creating “Their Thing” Through Intentional Mentorship
A friend once told me a story about going to the post office every Saturday with his grandpa. As a kid, he hated it, until one day he found coins left behind on the windowsill. Suddenly, he couldn’t wait to go.
What he didn’t know until years later was that his grandpa was the one leaving the coins.
That Saturday trip became their thing. Not because of the money, but because grandpa wanted time with his grandson.
This is the heart of mentoring boys through intentional moments. When we’re intentional, ordinary moments become sacred ones.
Why KOZ Leaders Must Mentor Boys Intentionally
At KOZ, we can’t afford to just “check the box.” Boys know when we’re distracted. They sense when we’re bored, and they recognize when something feels like just another church activity.
Because of this, we must ask better questions:
- What actually draws boys in?
- What captures their hearts and minds?
- What feels adventurous, meaningful, and real?
The same is true for our Harvest Team Leaders (HTLs). If leaders aren’t engaged, the mission becomes routine. But when leaders are fully present, they begin to feel the weight of the boys’ stories—the loneliness, the struggles, the sit-spot cards that reveal what these boys are carrying, especially during the holidays.
If you’re new to KOZ or considering starting a group, you can learn more on our Group Info Page.
Use What God Has Already Given You
With that in mind, think back to your own story. What do you remember as a boy?
- Camping trips?
- Turning a wrench with your dad?
- A book that grabbed your imagination?
- A skill someone took the time to teach you?
God didn’t give you those experiences by accident. He gave them to you to share with the boys you mentor.
Not every boy will latch onto the same thing. That’s okay. The goal isn’t perfection. The goal is presence.
You May Not See the Full Outcome—and That’s Okay
Some boys come to KOZ for a season and then disappear. Families move, circumstances change, and stories remain unfinished.
Even so, here’s what matters:
That Saturday, they had all of you.
You were present. You paid attention. You loved them well.
Years from now, they may remember something you said, something you did, or simply the way you made them feel. That is legacy.
December Is About Giving Back—Go All In
As a result, December is KOZ’s Give Back month, and this is where intentional mentorship meets action.Don’t stay inside the church walls.
Visit an elderly home, serve at a food bank, make PB&Js for the homeless, or help at a boys’ home or local outreach.
You only get one Saturday a month with these boys. Make it count. Go all in.
Final Encouragement to KOZ Leaders
Create moments that draw boys in.
Build traditions that shape hearts.
Above all, be intentional—because legacy is built one moment at a time.
You can find more encouragement and practical guidance for leaders in our KOZ Blog.
Love you guys.
Regulators, mount up.
JOIN THE MISSION
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Visit our KOZ Blog for more stories and guidance for leaders: KidsOutdoorZone.com/Blog
